I will never get past just how alone all of us with some form of neurodivergence feel on a regular basis. I really wont. The more I talk with neurodivergent people, the more I hear, over and over again, that they just feel so alone in their suffering. I hear about how hard it is for them to connect with other people, let alone make new friends or even seem to keep the friends they do have. I hear about how they just feel so lost and alone all the time. The part that gets to me the most, is just how much I understand this feeling, and just how many people can all feel alone at the same time.
We live in a world where mental health is just finally becoming something that people are actually focusing on and getting the required attention for. When you look at history you can see how mental health issues have been seen and dealt with, so it's not surprising that people are afraid to speak up about what they are going through. History is littered with examples of mental health facilities where the patients were treated like "lab rats" and submitted to all kinds of tests without any concern for the patient themselves. Or examples of mental health issues being seen as demonic possession by the church, or as some form of witchcraft, and these people were either exiled or put to death in excruciatingly painful and very public ways. Or they would be locked away at their parents house and only spoken of in hushed tones while the neighbors and family treated them like some kind of family not-so-secret shame. Or how kids with even the slightest learning disability would get put in all special education classes with all the other kids who got separated from the world and called names and shunned from normal groups of kids. Or…….. The list goes on and on, and it is no wonder that people with neurodivergence aren’t usually willing to speak up and admit that they are struggling and in need of help.
All of us who fit in this category spend a lot of our time feeling like we are alone and the only ones who are going through it. We stay up at night worrying that we are going to be stuck this way forever, broken and lost and confused. We don’t understand why our brains work this way, why we were cursed to always feel so alone and different. We just want to be normal, but we aren’t sure what normal even really is. We can’t see inside the minds of those around us, but based off the way they react to the world and talk about things, we are sure that they don’t feel even close to as bad and broken as we do. That thought couldn’t be any further from the truth.
I say it often, but it’s true, You’re Not SO Alone. I know you feel like you are, and I know that those feelings pile up on you till you feel you can’t take it anymore. The truth is that many more of us feel that way than you would ever guess. Some are just way better at hiding it than others. Though the fact that they have gotten so good at hiding it is an issue in and of itself. Neurotypical people, whether by accident or on purpose, force us to try to live in their world. Through their words and their actions, the neurotypical world constantly reinforces this feeling of being alone and different and broken. The world is built for neurotypical people, which makes us neurodivergent feel like we don’t belong in it. We spend so much time focusing on how we don’t fit into their world that we never stop to think that there might be other people out there like us. We don’t think that maybe the neurotypical world isn’t the only world out there. We don’t take the time to try to find others like us who may be going through similar things that we can lean on. Why? Because we’ve always been taught and shown that opening up about our mental issues and struggles is wrong and it’s something to be kept in private.
Well, I for one have no desire to live the rest of my life feeling alone. I don’t want to feel broken anymore. I want to have people to talk to and rely on. I want to have people who are willing and able to be open with me about their struggles, and me with them. I want to know for certain that I am not alone in this world. I want to know for certain that there are others who struggle like I do, and have them know that I struggle right along side them. Then, maybe then, I will actually feel like I have a place where I belong. Maybe then I will finally feel heard and seen and no longer alone.
I’m starting this journey right here and now. If you feel the same follow this link to the NeuroSpicy ‘R’ Us Facebook group. Let’s build a community together that can reach out into the world and help others feel like they aren’t alone. Let’s build a community of the broken and forgotten. You know, us Misfit Toys.
You’re Not So Alone that you can’t reach out and find others like you.
You’re Not So Alone that you have to stay stuck in your own head forever.
You’re Not So Alone that you need to stay feeling this way every day.
YOU’RE NOT SO ALONE!
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